However, this requires you to have to falsify information, making them simple to counter after some close examination.
I can summon my own, epic backgrounds on whim.
Unfortunately it also summons cartoon sound effects for all of your movements.
I've just learned I can solve any murder just by hearing the victim's name.
However sharing the name of the murderer with anyone will cause them to die too.
I can control people's and animals' minds.
Your mind can be controlled just as easily in turn.
I can perform true, empathic healing.
However, you are powerless to physically help anyone, not even a single band aid you are forced to console them as you watch them suffer.
I can draw onto thin air.
Unfortunately they blow away.
I am super stretchy.
Unfortunately you can never revert back to normal.
I can enter any cartoon and become part of the story.
...resulting in their cancellation. Cartoons that are already finished are retroactively Super Cancelled.
My head is made of fire. It cannot be extinguished, and is pretty cool to look at.
However you have no body. You're just a flying flaming head.
I know everything there is to know about everything.
The sheer amount of knowledge drives you insane- such knowledge is beyond the ken of our mortal, fragile minds.
Each and every successive strike from me increases in force.
However this ability can only be used by poking people with your pinkie finger.
I have the ability to locate anything
But only when in public nakedI can teleport from and to dimensions
But only if you get enough time at the conflict
I can control without restriction the time and space
Granted, but you cannot fathom how you use this power.
Lightning periodically arcs off of me, striking where I will it.
But like a boomerang effect it bounces back to you 10x over.
You are able to break the laws of physics like a cartoon
but you are forced to only watch terrible cartoon reboots for the rest of your life
you have the power to clone anything you are holding
However, it will never be perfect. There will always be an error.
You control the powers of darkness
you will eventually be consumed by it
you are gifted with the abilities of a dragon
Granted, but it's of Komodo Dragons.
Any gun/weapon you have has an infinite clip/indestructable.
But you must reload after every single shot.
You possess PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER!